Memories Last a Lifetime. Blenders Die.

I was not a traditional bride. I know. Not shocking for anyone who knows me. You probably don’t even have to know me WELL to guess that.

Yes, it’s true. The white wedding, church/synagogue ceremony, bachelorette party thing was just never my m.o. I get why so many girls grow up planning and envisioning their perfect day and I’ve participated in and attended many wonderful, magical, memorable traditional weddings. I have nothing against them. In fact, I cry at every one. It’s true. Water. Works. I am a total softy.

Yet when it came to my own wedding I was a bit stumped cuz it wasn’t totally on my radar. I always dreamed about winning the Olympics in figure skating, or writing the next great fiction novel. About getting an Oscar for film direction, or about opening my own dog ranch (yes.. it was to be called the Canine Country Club and yes I even have a design for the logo).

My dreams never included a white dress. Ok.. maybe the skating one did but that’s just a coincidence.

And they never included receiving boatloads of boxes with blenders and toasters as a part of said wedding. In fact, the thought of that stresses me out.

I would never claim I am a minimalist – but I am an extremely practical person. So is my husband. It was also later in life for us. It was my first wedding (and only… so far) at 35 years old. He had been married before. We already had a blender. In fact, we had two (maybe 3)! We were already in the process of combining households and making difficult decisions like which plates to keep (his), who’s coffee maker was better (his) and who’s flatware to use (mine). Needless to say, we learned the art of negotiation well before we technically tied the knot. Good training I think.

So we weren’t hampered by tradition (the non-traditional wedding itself is a great story for another time) but we simply didn’t want more stuff. What to do about the wedding gifts?

Turned out it was easy. We asked for “consumables”. Things that we could experience. We challenged our guests to be creative. Help us enjoy life and better yet – let us do it with you, our dear friends. Don’t give us wine openers. Give us wine! But only if you come over and drink it with us.

Or take us to dinner. Make us dinner. Or, give us a gift certificate and let us take YOU to dinner.

And our friends rallied. We received travel vouchers, wonderful meals, cooking lessons, massages, hotel nights,cleaning supplies?, spectacular wine and more. Our wedding celebration extended for months as we enjoyed our “experiences” and felt the love of all of our friends and family and all of the people in our new, combined lives. Ultimately our experience wedding was far beyond what we even imagined. I am as thankful for all of those full-of-love experiences as I am for the enduring love I found in my wonderful husband.

The idea became a trend in our lives. Last year for the holidays we each designed a “day” of fun for the family as our gift to one another. As it turned out they both included outdoor hikes with the dog to places we had not yet discovered, long drives through the “country”, and new and different foods and restaurants. It was a blast.

This is not to say I never want new appliances (you should SEE our Cuisinart. Can you say “relic”? I literally saw it at the Smithsonian). No.. that is not the message.

Just that we all should be sure – especially this time of year – to celebrate and cherish the memories, experiences and the love in our lives. It can be a lot more satifying – and longer lasting – than anything that comes in a box.

And yes, I am tearing up as I write this. Told you I was a softy.

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